Black Belt vs. Peanut Butter

Who would win in a fight to the death, Black Belt or a half-empty jar of Skippy© brand chunky peanut butter?

Peanut butter wins. Black Belt can't handle the chunks.
40 Votes (39.22%)
Too close to call.
25 Votes (24.51%)
Black Belt wins, just barely. (Peanut butter wins the eventual rematch.)
37 Votes (36.27%)

63 Comments
May 14, 2010 03:20 PM PDT

A horrible allergic reaction caused the BB throat to close up and slowly suffocate, he had to endure a horrible slow death

May 14, 2010 04:32 PM PDT

I refuse to vote....I love BB

/images/nes/misc/ani/bdragon.gif
*nom nom*
May 14, 2010 05:49 PM PDT

BB wins. You can't predict the future, so your comment about the rematch is a moot point. QED.

May 14, 2010 08:07 PM PDT

How does the Peanut Butter win the rematch when it's a fight to the death?

May 14, 2010 09:20 PM PDT

That! That is why the name on the very bottom right of every page should be Nicole, not Brain, Carper!

May 15, 2010 05:20 AM PDT

Jar of peanut butter will never dodge anything. Blackbelt, on the other hand, can't really hit anything. Close call...

May 15, 2010 10:08 AM PDT

Geesh, BB's not so bad.

May 16, 2010 12:34 PM PDT

bb gets 32 hits........pb dead

May 16, 2010 05:44 PM PDT

I'm so... CONFLICTED.

May 17, 2010 02:18 PM PDT

alphablack: a wizard did it.

May 17, 2010 02:56 PM PDT

So since so many people dislike the Black Belt the Wizards out there will keep bring the Peanut Butter back with Life till it wins?

May 17, 2010 03:08 PM PDT

... Sure, why not?

May 17, 2010 05:56 PM PDT

I'm not really into the whole "casting LIFE" thing. But I do love me sum peanut butter.

Mmm boy.

Anyway, I'm sure peanut butter requires a more specific spell of revivement. "JIFY" perhaps? "PBNJ"?

May 17, 2010 09:32 PM PDT

Peanut butter doesn't even have to strike. BB will MISS until he dies of old age.

May 17, 2010 11:10 PM PDT

You want the chunks?

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE CHUNKS!

May 18, 2010 04:02 PM PDT

Tough call. I have to go with Black Belt. Peanut butter alone is powerless.

May 18, 2010 04:42 PM PDT

Peanut Butter isn't solid, like MUCK. We all know you can't hurt MUCK even with 100 strength, so the peanut butter wins. The chunks act as a +38 attack, but they can be defeated... one by one.

May 18, 2010 05:01 PM PDT

(ok so I lied. You can do a ton of damage to muck... if you get a critical.)

May 18, 2010 05:27 PM PDT

Too close to call, but I think BB wins with Zeus Gauntlets.

May 18, 2010 08:54 PM PDT

Black Belt goes Master and deals a cool 2500 damage to the Peanut Butter. As these old RPG games dictate, the Peanut Butter likely only had a few HP to spare.

BB wins. His partners all go home and buy lots of beer with all that money they didn't have to spend on gear for the Black Belt. :3

May 19, 2010 07:11 AM PDT

That implies though that the chunks don't count as individual monsters. If they do, then the black belt will have some SERIOUS trouble...

May 19, 2010 07:33 AM PDT

@ InsanityBringer

Either way, his old partners get to drink themselves silly because of all the precious gil not spent on the Black Belt. ;)

May 23, 2010 08:12 PM PDT

Black Belt wins an infinate amount of times. He doesn't even need class change to beat p.b., even if it is the chunky kind. No one relizes that the Black Belt was a pretty deccent character.

May 24, 2010 02:50 PM PDT

if you care to overlevel him a ton.

May 24, 2010 04:06 PM PDT

BB wins cause he can move, PP just sits there

May 25, 2010 07:11 AM PDT

again with the overleveling........

May 25, 2010 03:13 PM PDT

oh sure, he gets DMG fast, but does ANYONE on the earth EVER consider absorb? At level 1, my fighter has 15 absorb. At level 1, my black belt has 4. If I grind for gold, by Provaka, I can have 24 absorb on my (probably) level 3-5 fighter. My 3-5 black belt has 5 at best. That's only considering body armors. Before level 50 (30, say), my fighter can have 74 absorb. My black mage can have 51 (higher than a level 50 BB) by 30, using a Opal Bracelet, procape, cap, and proring. The black belt can come close (by equipping the same crap), but he can't match it because he doesn't get procapes. If I upgrade my Black Mage to a Black Wizard, my total increases to 67 thanks to the Black Robes. That's only 7 points lower than my fighter. Meanwhile, my level 30 black mage is sitting there with his 43 absorb. If his evade levels good, it may be worthwhile to take it off.

However, damage *does* take a bit of time to level. by 30 he's at 60 DMG, which is actually not too bad thanks to the high hit rate. My level 30 Fighter with Excalibur does 70, but the BB may win thanks to the double hits thing, but I'm not sure (I don't know his hit rate curve off hand). But by 30 I'm actually already INSANELY bored of the game and just want to finish. I run TOF2000 at 27-28 quite a lot because it takes too long to get to 50.

May 25, 2010 03:14 PM PDT

(if anything looks wrong there, feel free to correct me, I grabbed the values and added them rather quickly using http://fforigins.com and FFHackster)

May 25, 2010 03:26 PM PDT

(ok the bit about the 67 Black Wizard is wrong. *I counted the Black Shirt and the Opal Bracelet as two different types*. Where's my EDIT POST button?)

May 25, 2010 10:06 PM PDT

FASTed BB above level ten wins everything.

May 26, 2010 08:15 AM PDT

evade is better on the BB.....keep him in the back row......his magic defense far outweighs the absorb.

May 26, 2010 11:11 AM PDT

Yes, he has good Magic Defense. Certainly won't stop WarMECH from murdering you with his physical attacks, provided he lands them on the BB. My Knight with 74 Absorb actually takes a good amount of damage from WarMECH.

May 30, 2010 05:25 PM PDT

after class change he does the same amount of damage as the knight with xcalibur. and that's bare handed. i found he manages to survive and does pretty well in battle

lv 50? are we talking the remakes or the original. if the original, i've never bothered leveling that high. beat the game closer to level 28.

and warmech murders everyone. he's worse than many bosses in the game.

May 30, 2010 07:52 PM PDT

talking about either origins (not gba/psp), or NES (since they are mostly the same gameplay-wise). I'm usually 28-32 in those.

Since leveling is easier in the gba/psp versions (from what I've heard), I'm sure I'd end up going higher though.

May 31, 2010 01:05 PM PDT

I like how serious the conversation has become, when it started out as a bb versus PEANUT BUTTER!!! But seriously, I don't know how you would spend the time to get to level 50. The highest I got (and I just have the original NES) was about 32 I think. The blackbelt does as much damage as a fully upped fighter (even a bit more), but his lack of defense more than makes up for it. The question: why go through the trouble for the BB when there is a fighter? BB sux the first half of the game.

Jun 02, 2010 02:47 PM PDT

I say BB would win and win the rematch, but that wasn't an option :(

Jun 10, 2010 07:53 PM PDT

It's actually pretty simple to max out your levels in the NES game. If you have a White Wizard with the Exit spell, just repeatedly battle the monsters in the final dungeon.

Also, I have honest to God, never lost against Warmech.

Jun 13, 2010 12:44 AM PDT

What is this? I mean, peanuts vs. Flare?

Jun 16, 2010 08:24 PM PDT

black belt would win, cause he or she is a good fighter right? he or she could just eat it fast right?

Jun 20, 2010 02:31 PM PDT

Black Belt wins the first battle, but theres always another one to take the last one's place, so Black Belt will eventually lose, unless one of two things happen: Black Belt starts to gain HP from the peanut butter's attacks or a White Mage jumps into the battle.

Jun 26, 2010 10:14 PM PDT

Depends...how chunky is the chunky peanut butter.

Jul 06, 2010 02:36 AM PDT

Oh! I misread. I thought that it said Black MAGE vs PB. In the case of BB, then the Peanut Butter would win.

Jul 07, 2010 12:54 AM PDT

The BB would win... Hopefully.

Jul 12, 2010 09:49 PM PDT

Peanut butter will beat everyting. As much as I like black belts (I will be one eventually, soon I hope) Peanut butter takes the cake, and makes a good one.

Jul 15, 2010 12:40 PM PDT

You fools, peanut butter is so amazing that the black belt, even a master, would halt in front of it and surrender! Not a single character in any FF would even consider attacking the unbeatable peanut butter. Any one who dares suffers it's wrath!

Jul 15, 2010 12:41 PM PDT

Bow down, bow down to the peanut butter!

Jul 15, 2010 01:23 PM PDT

Maybe Brian should just make a p.b. avatar icon or sumthin...

Jul 26, 2010 06:42 AM PDT

Lol above.

Jul 28, 2010 01:55 AM PDT

BB v. PB = win.

Jul 31, 2010 09:38 PM PDT

w00t! tie breaker! BB wins!

Aug 01, 2010 05:32 AM PDT

It's almost like the maker of this site is biased against black belts.

Aug 01, 2010 09:20 AM PDT

He is, have you read the playable characters section?

Aug 08, 2010 02:13 PM PDT

I do like this poll, there is no chance that black belt is the winner. Peanut butter will always prevail. But if black belt is to win he would require bread, knife and spoon. He can't handle the chuks.

Aug 11, 2010 10:50 AM PDT

penut butter would just own the BB to no end

Aug 14, 2010 11:01 AM PDT

No kidding.

Sep 01, 2010 12:36 AM PDT

I agree with Kain's first comment on this page. There is a saying that we are honored most after we die. But, then again, how many of you have eaten an entire jar of peanut butter in one sitting with NOTHING TO DRINK?

Sep 01, 2010 12:37 AM PDT

Edit: A HALF jar...

Sep 17, 2010 04:46 PM PDT

Oooohhhh, too close. Whenever BB has the upper hand, Peanut Butter distracts him with by pulling out two pieces of bread.

Sep 20, 2010 04:11 PM PDT

Wait.... If it's a fight to the DEATH, then there can't be a rematch!

YAY!!!

Apr 17, 2015 07:28 PM PDT

Bluuuggghghghghghghghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

Sep 25, 2015 12:17 PM PDT

The peanut butter, no real reason I just can't see BB win against anything. There would be no rematch and peanut butter would reign supreme.

Aug 19, 2016 07:11 PM PDT

I had a whole jar of peanut butter for breakfast this morning. WITHOUT ANY MILK.

Sep 21, 2017 11:06 AM PDT

Black belt doesn't die immediately, but dies a slow cruel death from colon cancer caused by eating the artificial ingredients and gmos in Skippy. If it was organic peanut butter, maybe he would still be alive, if he had milk with it.

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